The Costanza Parking Lot Theory

I’m pretty new to this whole “blogging” thing, so I figured that I would make my way into the colourdesign.ca world of culture by following the advice of every writer/teacher I’ve ever spoken to: Write about what you know. I could think of no better way to follow up the big dog’s pizza recipe (and whatever else happens to have made its way on here between writing and posting) with something of which I have a profound amount of information and experience. I know porn. Thus, I will write about porn. According to www.techcrunch.com, $89 is spent on porn EVERY SECOND! This raises an incredibly important question: Why the hell are you (and judging by the fact that you happen to be online right now, combined with the statistic above, you have quite likely paid for internet porn at some point) still paying for porn? I personally subscribe to the George Costanza method when it comes to my lonely carnal needs. As I’m sure some of you remember, George Costanza equated paying for parking when somewhere out there, there’s a spot on the street for free to buying a prostitute when there’s likely a woman out there who is either drunk enough or has low enough self-esteem to sleep with you (I’m paraphrasing of course). In this, stocky balding neurotic George was absolutely correct. There is such an abundance of absolutely free porn floating around out there that you’d have to be out of your damn melon to pay for it! The sheer quantity of disgusting/arousing awesomeness out there for absolutely gratis will guarantee that you will never have to go another night without that intoxicating combination of shame/pleasure/self-loathing again. So put away your wallet, light a few scented candles, turn the lights down low, throw on Busta Rhymes’ hit solo-debut “Woo Hah! Got you all in Check”, press the repeat button, and treat yourself to the hours and hours of free perverted mess that is out there on the internet. My name is Phil Seminoff, and I love free porn. It’s nice to meet all of you.

As an aside, before I part, I just wanted to clear up the whole "Woo Hah!" song choice mystery. You see, the title of Busta's debut album, upon which "Woo Hah!" appeared, was entitled "The Coming". See what I did there? Hilarious and crass. Two birds. Phil, out.

Delicious Pizza

The other night we made a delicious pizza. Although one day I'd like to, I didn't toss my own dough, but fairly inexpensively you can pick some up, and the rest is up to you.

We started by pan-frying some chicken breast, seasoned it with garlic and tabasco, as the chicken was finishing we added chopped red onion, red peppers, and asparagus, with a dash of olive oil and let it simmer on low heat while we coated the dough with a pesto sauce.

We then took everything from the pan and spread it over the dough, sliced a fresh tomato and dispersed it out across the top of the pizza, graded some Canadian cheddar and put it in the oven.

The oven was set to 400degrees and we just kept our eye on it until everything looked good, about 10mins or so I would say, not an exact science.

my town | a photographic exhibition

Today the Art Life Gallery presents three Calgary based photo artists are showcasing there work with the subject matter of my town. The photos take on Calgary's fast changing downtown core and other changes the city has made in recent history.

The opening is at 8pm tonight, come check it out!

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!

here are a couple photos from calgary's monster jam. we saw a lot of dope hair cuts and had a blast!

video footage of art thief

Quick update, Global TV ran this on their 11:00pm news last night about Calgary's latest art thief.

stolen artwork in calgary

This past weekend sometime (Jan 31st- Feb1st) 4 pieces of artwork were stolen from the O Gallery (portion of the new O Restaurant in Marda Loop) 2 of the pieces were .colourdesign co-owner Jeremy Pavka's. The article can be found on todays front page of the metro.

The full article can be read here

GROUND CONTROL TO BRIAN EN0

This is a post I have been wanting to touch of for some time. When you ask someone if they know who Brian Eno is you get a look of WHO? I was the same way until a long car ride from Edmonton to Calgary with a friend of mine PI. Its time more people realize what this individual brought forth to music as a whole. In the early to mid 70's Brain Eno was a pushing boundaries in music and art. He was a part of the "Glam Rock" era playing in a band called Roxy Music. It was from there he ventured out on his own creating what was called ambient music. If you check out some of the other videos posted in You Tube you will understand his vision a little bit more. That was when he took flight working and producing with the likes of David Bowie, Talking Heads, and Devo solidifying the "No Wave" genre of music. It personally baffles me that one man could have such a broad scope and has given us a lot of the music we listen to today. How many current bands were influence by many of the projects Brian Eno was involved with and the sound that penetrated the North American culture in the late 70s to early 80s. Its gave us something different and new sound influences that we still hear reminece of today. The fact that when you step out to cut a rug on the weekend your ears are still blessed with the latest mash up versions of Bowie, Devo etc. So make sure to tip your vodka sodas or malt beverage the next time you are hitting the D floor to a man that has given us such influence in music as its become an important part of everyones daily life.

DS